Thursday, March 25, 2010

HONEST CONFESSION

I am very ambitious. I want things that most people won't understand. My defense is that I don't understand the way the world works, the way that I'm told it does. It doesn't make much sense. If any, not as much as it should. To keep these dreams alive, I sometimes tend to fantasize. My fantasies to a big extent help me reason out sanity from the way I live my life. To lay it all out straight, they maintain me sane. You may say that I've suited a world to my fantasies in which I live in, that it's too reclusive too be real. If only truth and reality would match by virtue of what stands which has stood and will stand for all time. I can rationalize my fantasies though I may not be able to convince you of them but I choose to believe in only what I only fully understand.

When you can prove me wrong, I will admit it. As much as you can reason, what you're fighting to prove should make things work practically in the midst of the strife and conflict between your argument and all others that oppose it and work against it. That's the argument of mine that still holds out against yours. What I am implying would work anyway if this debate wasn't taking place - if we weren't concerned about what the other believed and went on with our lives. It's only that I believe in those principles that have stood, will stand and do stand against anything that changes including time and people who follow anything that works regardless of whether they believe in them or not.

When these dreams become real and I've done celebrating them, I'm going to want to sit down on the side for a while because I know that it would involve a lot of those people who wouldn't have ever dreamt in their wildest dreams of such a thing happening. When these honest blasphemers are gawping and rambling in awe of such an event, I imagine you coming and sitting down by my side. I'd prefer honest blasphemy to anything else that I can get from them though it wont count then.

I imagine that you would congratulate me and the conversation that would follow would go into either of us bringing up the topic of how much you are a part of my success. All I would say to you then is simply "You're as much a part of my success as you want to be, as much as you really want to be."

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